I do not like my husband, what to do?
Endless troubles, monotony and family routine, one way or another, affect the marital relationship. Being busy with home, children and various household chores, you do not notice how your world concentrates in the four walls of your house. And having realized it, you realize that life is already far from being as joyful and saturated as before. From the former all-consuming love for her husband remained only the bitterness of memories. You look at yourself in the mirror and you think what to do. I do not like my husband. This thought does not disturb you alone. Many husbands, in turn, often hint that they did not love such a woman at the beginning, and would like to see such a spouse next to them. In other words, marriage is on the verge of collapse.
Why crumble marriage?
To date, psychologists have identified several main reasons that lead to the disintegration of relationships and marriages:
- The wrong choice of partner. Often, this is characteristic of young couples. In such a situation, people are not driven by the awareness of their choice, but by a passion that blinds and changes values and priorities for a while.And after a while, it turns out that you have so little in common, and that the life principles of these two are simply incompatible. For example, the husband believes that he is the head of the family and does not take into account your opinion. Or the wife wants to build a career, while the husband claims that her place in the kitchen is at the stove. Such things cause irritation, which eventually becomes an insurmountable obstacle.
- Emotional aspect (immaturity). Very often when they marry, people hide behind love. In fact, in this way, some get rid of loneliness, others - pay off debts, and still others - run away from home to start an independent life. But in such circumstances, the partners are not ready to be responsible for each other, which after a certain time becomes a heavy and unbearable burden for both.
- Family crisis. A stressful situation is always a test for the family: the first year together, the birth of children, their adolescence and youth, and then leaving the womb. Misunderstanding is a crisis of communication and occurs in 80% of the collapse of the ideal, at first glance, union. When people can't talk, find a compromise and agree, they simply have nothing to say to each other.
Perhaps you ask yourself: what to do if I do not like my husband? Well, try to remember your first meeting: his gaze, cheerful light in his eyes, happy smile, gentle touch. After all, this is the same person to whom you said “love”, have given birth to children and presented yourself. And you - the woman he chose among the rest, trusted and loved. No one will argue that the past is irreversible. But hardly anyone would think to say that it is impossible to change the present and the future. We build relationships ourselves, and we are responsible for them!
You are completely bogged down in everyday life and do not have enough time to care for yourself? So, set aside your household chores and give them exactly as much time as they will after the lessons themselves. After all, a good appearance affects your self-esteem, and how your husband perceives and the people around you. If there is an opportunity to send children to the grandmother, use this and spend a little time together. After resting and relaxing, each of you will look at relationships differently.
But if a woman firmly decided: I do not love my husband, I love another man, it means that marriage has completely exhausted itself at this stage.It is mistaken or not, it will become clear much later. But at this very moment, you start looking for reasons for divorce, you sharply react to any trifle, as a result, destroying everything with your own hands. Think about it, have you tried to improve the situation in the family? After all, if a woman does not love her husband at the moment, this does not mean that everything is lost, but not everyone can find the strength to try to fix everything.
Leave or stay?
“I no longer love my husband,” the words you uttered to yourself, and then out loud. Having convinced of the correctness of your conclusions, you should not hesitate and hurt your spouse. If you have clearly decided that there is no way back, you should immediately notify your partner. Perhaps for both of you all is not lost. The husband is also a living person, he has his own opinion and it’s not a fact that he will just give up and let the woman he loves him. Who knows, what if he convinces you of infidelity of judgments and the erroneous desire to divorce. Even if a woman is sure that she has never loved her husband, she is prone to make mistakes. Do not forget, spouses - a couple, two people, two rings, two souls and two hearts. And when one half breaks away it does not mean a break, but it can serve as a bell for decisive action.