I am not helping my wife with housework. And I think that is right!
This story appeared in the British Facebook recently and at the moment! And now you will understand why ...
Once a friend came to my house for coffee. We sat and talked about life. At some point, I said:"I need to go to the kitchen, I will be back soon."
He looked at me in such a way as if I said that I was going to build a rocket.
And then he added with admiration and some confusion:
“I am glad that you are such a caring husband and help your wife. But I do not know how. Because as soon as I start helping my wife, she never says “thank you”. No desire is dropped. Last week I washed the floor, but I did not hear a single word of thanks. ”
When I returned to sit with him, I explained that in fact I was not “helping” anyone. In fact, my wife does not need help.
She needs a partner, not help. And at home I am her partner.
In society, we play many important roles, but in domestic affairs I’m definitely not an “assistant”. And I do not even consider myself to be some kind of exemplary husband. I'm just a partner. Such, as, should be. The way I would like to see my wife.
I do not “help” my wife to clean the house. I clean it, because I live here, too. And I also need to wash the dishes.
I do not “help” my wife to cook: I want to eat too, like everything, so I also need to participate in this.
I do not "help" my wife to wash the dishes after a meal. I also use the dishes, so I do not see anything “like that” to get out FOR YOUR OWN.
I do not “help” my wife with children, because they and my children too. And one of my works is to be a father.
I do not “help” my wife to wash, iron and fold clothes. I do this because it is my clothes or the clothes of my children.
I do not "help" my wife around the house, because I am part of the house. Therefore, I do not understand my friend’s claims that his wife is “ungrateful.”
In the end, his wife does it every day: cleans the house, washes clothes, changes sheets, bathes children, cooks, organizes the day, etc. And he hardly thinks of saying "thank you" to her.
It is unlikely that she hears from him something like:“Wow, honey !!” You are fantastic !!! ”
Why does this not seem absurd to him? Why did he look at me like I was saying something strange to him? After all, why should he feel like a god at the peak of fame just because he cleaned the floor? Why?
Have you ever thought about it, friends?
Maybe this is all because of our culture "macho" and "real men"? Who ever decided that this is all - only their work?
Perhaps as a child you were taught that men do not concern household chores. Perhaps you were taught that your job was to go to work, and at home you could not move one finger ...
But if this is so, and everyone in your family agrees with such an order, then why the hell do you not praise your wife with the same intensity that you expect from her for yourself?
Help your wife behave like a real companion for you.
Do not turn her into a servant, but do not turn yourself into a guest who comes home as a hotel: just to sleep, eat, bathe and meet needs.
Make yourself at home. In my house…
If you want our society to truly change, let's begin these changes with our homes.