How not to lie?
All of us time: someone in the little things, even without himself realizing it, but someone in a big way, knowing full well what he is doing. A small lie from time to time is a common phenomenon, but what to do if you lie so much that you yourself already forgot where the truth is and where is fiction? A constant desire to lie is already a pathology, and in particularly neglected cases it is worth contacting a professional psychologist. Well, we will consider a lighter version of this problem. How to learn not to lie, when it often pulls up to embellish reality or lie to something?
How not to lie: tips
- Many people tend to lie in order to look in the eyes of others more interesting and attractive. They compose whole stories about their achievements, adventures, acquaintances with famous and popular people, wealth, etc. Such lies are typical for people with low self-esteem, for those who do not love themselves and do not accept their individuality. There is only one way out: you need to thoroughly understand yourself, your pros and cons, understand what you really are, and accept yourself as real.You need to love yourself, get a healthy self-esteem - then the desire to lie to yourself, and after that the desire to lie to others about yourself, will disappear.
- Such advice may be useful to many: Imagine that the truth has been revealed (and very often this happens). How do you feel in this situation? How will you then talk to the one you are going to lie to and look into his eyes?
- To stop lying, you have to consciously ban it. To do this, you need to think about your problem. First, realize that this defect you really exist and spoils your life. Then remember the situations in which you are lying, think about why this is happening and how this can be avoided. Promise yourself to stop lying. After that, in every situation, as soon as you are drawn to a lie, remember your promise - this will help stop the lie.
- Imagine yourself in the place of a person to whom you are lying. Unpleasant? You trust the person, and he, in turn, lies to you. Who would like to be in a similar situation? Of course, no one. Before you lie to a person, try to change places with him and imagine yourself from his side.
Lie for good
There is also a lie for good - when a person deliberately lies to another in order not to hurt him. If we take a deeper look at this topic, then we can come to the conclusion that lying for good is actually a double-edged sword. By lying for the good, you can both save a person and cause him even more harm. It is very important to learn to distinguish when such a lie is justified and really needed, and when it is destructive. Consider two examples.
- In an incomplete family consisting of a mother and daughter (father died), the girl is interested in her mother, where her father is. The girl is still very small, but very concerned about the absence of her father. In this situation, a lie is needed for good. In order not to injure the child's psyche, it is better to lie to the mother, saying that Dad went on a long journey, that he loves them very much and remembers them, but he cannot return. Later, when her daughter grows up, she will fully understand what a person’s death is, so carefully she can tell the truth.
- Consider a household example. Suppose that your girlfriend made a very unfortunate haircut or bought a dress that obviously spoils her figure. She is interested in you, as she looks, and you, trying not to offend her, are lying, doing her false compliments.A friend, deciding that everything is in order, continues to walk with the same haircut or more often puts on a new dress. You understand that she looks ridiculous in the eyes of others, but you cannot admit that you lied. Obviously, it was necessary to gently tell the man the truth.
Learn to recognize when you can, and maybe you should lie, and when to tell the truth. In any case, excessive desire to lie is harmful, and it is necessary to get rid of it.